Counting Blessings

Gorgeous day here. Sunny and cool, just the way I likes it. I can hear Max's mumbles from down the hall. He is supposed to be sleeping. I am perched on our brown couch, and from this vantage point I spy a small bouquet of home-grown magenta roses sitting happily in a white milk glass vase. If you were here I would encourage you to smell them up close and drink in their loveliness. I feel so full to the brim of thankfulness. I count this a gift. I was telling Joaquin last night how I feel that lately God has really gifted me so much with gratitude. Is that a funny thing to say? So many struggle to see the beauty and the good that lies all around them, and I feel like my eyes are OPEN wide and I see it. Thank you Lord God, for this grace. I still have my moments, yes, but all in all, so much of the day I spend thinking how much I love this or that... and it all adds up to a very rich life. I have a rose garden, a bit scraggly and unkempt, but my very own! Last time our landlord (dear, dear man) stopped over to check in on things, I took him to that little spot where the flowers grow wild and asked about what I might do. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder and with a big smile said, "Jessica, this is YOUR home, do whatever you want with all of this! You want to pull out that bush, do it! You want to plant another, fine by me!" He is always telling us how this is "the Lord's house" and he lives with such an open hand with his things. We are taking notes.

I suppose I have not written much about this, because words seem to fail at times... My mother in law is not doing well. I miss her. She has not been well for quite sometime, ten years maybe, but this last visit? We really saw a difference. She and I sat at her small dining room table, all set for dinner, and she asked what I had been up to that day, a little nervously. I eagerly began in, sharing about a new opportunity that I was involved in. As I locked eyes with hers, I noticed a faint smile and a look of fear and then without warning, it was as if she left. Her medications, oh so many of them, treat her harshly and it is because of them, that I only get to see glimpses of the woman I met when I was dating my love, just six years ago. I watch her squeeze and love on my littles and I reflect about how much softer she is now, and in her sweetness I see God's grace. Medication can take an ugly toll on the sick, stealing away a former self, and replacing it with something unkind. But God has seen fit to bless us with her presence and unfiltered love. She and I are as different personality-wise, and maybe a few other ways, as night and day. Yet I have come to love her deeply. I want my boys to know her as I do. I want her arms to be full of a future granddaughter, Lord willing. But today I am thankful for what we have of her.

My boys bring me so much joy. This goes without saying, of course. More and more I see their relationship with each other growing. It about did my momma's heart in last night as I heard from the kitchen, Max playing "peekie boo" with Isaiah and they were squealing and laughing! Isaiah really loves to laugh and is quick to return a smile every time, (except for when hungry or sleepy). He is a good sleeper, and an amazing eater. We are 9 months in, and he will gobble down whatever I put in his mouth: spaghetti, mexican rice, roasted squash, steamed broccoli, and the list goes on. This is QUITE a treat for me, as Max has not been the best at eating. Isaiah loves to skoot about in his walker, and now I have to remove the recycle trash can out to the garage, as it is one of his favorite things to pull down. I put him in that walker, almost reluctantly these days, as I prepare dinner. He uses it as a bumper car into my legs over and over, and throws his Kix cereal puffs and cheerios all about the floor.

Max, my curly-haired boy! He remains full of curiosity for all things that life holds. Trains, drums, helmets, music, bike-riding, playdough, and coloring are just a few of his favorites. He has always been so good at playing by himself, his sweet little imagination in full force. One of his most well loved places to play lately is in our van. Our garage is just off the kitchen, and I open the door, and van door, and he will play in there for up to an hour! This morning as I was shoveling banana cereal into Isaiah's mouth it got a little too quiet and I called out, "Maxie, how are you doing out there?!" To which his sweet two and a half year old voice returned, "I fine, momma!" Such a little independent soul. We love to sing together as a family, but don't ever to ask us to do so in public. Haha. It is just so fun to watch Max pick up words, and that little boy sings on key as well! He is recognizing the alphabet letters more and is particularly fond of the letter "P" as in, "P is for Papa"! He loves both his grandpas.

As for me, my days are full of maintaining house and home, which I love to do. I could do without the ever present cheerios splayed across the floor, but I am sure that some day I will miss this stage. I am loving studying the book of John with the ladies at church. Week after week I see new things about Jesus that I never saw before. It is changing me. When you see Jesus for what He was and is, you cannot help but be rocked. I love the community I have, and try to spend at least a couple days a week tracking down one of the many beautiful women that God has placed in my circle. And there are babies and more babies. We even get to pretend that we have a sister of our very own on Wednesdays, as I take care of sweet baby Emmaline. See photo above. She is a month younger than Isaiah, and before you go feeling like I have lost my marbles for adding another baby to the house, let me tell you that baby Em is just about the easiest lil peanut to take care of that you could ever meet. Along with the laundry, and floor cleaning, I have gotten somewhat in a groove with cooking lately. I don't feel as insecurely attached to my recipes, and the freedom that I have found is deeelightful! Last week we received a FarmFreshToYou box on our doorstep full of beautiful local produce. I have had fun using it up, except for the radishes. Two pounds of red radishes! I have no idea what to do with them. Last night I made a pork roast, sauteed German butterball potatoes with onion, and baked Delicatta squash. The salad was topped with avocado, and all told, the meal included five things from that farm produce box!

I cannot leave this post without a note about my man. He is in the throws of big things, God-sized dreams and I have never been more proud of him. I take so much pleasure out of seeing him do what he is so clearly made to do. We had a long talk on the couch last night, after the boys were tucked into their beds. We talked about future possibilities, and present predicaments. It was nice to just sit and talk, and reminded me how blessed I am to be married to my best friend. We partner well, he and I. Like coffee and cream, turkey and tators. I am sure that many people in our beginnings would not have pegged us as a match, but boy were they wrong.